WEIGH-IN: 223.2
When I weighed in this morning, I was disapointed....somehow I gained .6 lbs. I wanted to give up, but I didn't! At that moment I felt like why work as hard as I have to gain weight? I was very frustrated, but then I became rational and realized it's only .6!!!!! We will see what tomorrows weigh-in will bring....
Emily and I went hiking today. I was so proud of the both of us! Never in a million years did I think I could climb to the top of the mountain. There were definately some parts of the hike that were more of a struggle than others, but all in all we did great! According to the map we were about 900 feet from the bottom. The sense of accomplishment I felt was great--and although my back would not allow me to do that on a daily basis--I can't wait to do it again some time soon! I told Emily we can try a different trail next time :)
After we got home we both showered and took a nap. I set my alarm for 5:30, but struggled to get out of bed. I'm not sure if my body is still tired or if I'm dealing with some depression right now. Sometimes it comes and goes and I'm never sure why. I'm going to do my best to fight through it. Emily and I will be going to Walmart shortly to pick out some things for her birthday party on Saturday. I also have to find a way to get her to try a few different bikes out. She doesn't know it, but I am getting her a bike for her birthday! I have decided to buy cupcakes for her birthday because making them would just be too hard for me at this point in my journey. I'd probably eat half the batter.
After we get home from Walmart Emily and I will just be relaxing. We may play a little Wii - Just Dance - depending how my body is treating me. If anything changes or I come upon a challenging moment I will blog it, if not hope you had a great day!
Tonight is the first night that I am struggling. I want to go to the kitchen and pig out. If I so much as go near the kitchen right now it may happen. I am trying to avoid it at all costs because I know the outcome will not do me any good. It may make me feel better at this very moment, but tomorrow I will be so mad at myself and want to give up. I feel like it would be so much easier to give up. Tonight I feel like I want to quit this battle. It's bigger than me - I need help because I can't do it myself. I hate the person I've become.......how can anyone like me when I can't even like myself??? HELP!
My Food Consumption - 1500 Calories
Breakfast
*1 cup egg whites 66 Cal
*3 tbsp red pepper & onion 30 Cal
*1/2 tomato 22 Cal
Snack
*1/4 almonds 170 Cal
Lunch
*strawberry yogurt 140 Cal
*1 peach 40 Cal
*15 chip-ins 100 Cal
*Special K bar 90 Cal
Snack
*4 strawberries 12 Cal
*1/2 tomato 22 Cal
*1 cup canteloupe 60 Cal
Dinner
*1 whole wheat tortilla 71 Cal
*1/4 cup mozz cheese 80 Cal
*1 oz chicken 30 Cal
*1/4 cup onions 23 Cal
*1/4 cup red pepper 23 Cal
*1/8 cup mushrooms 6 Cal
*Special K bar 90 Cal
Snack
*16 oz Gatorade 40 Cal
*1/4 cup almonds 170 Cal
*1 cone 15 Cal
*5 tbsp lite cool whip 50 Cal
*4 strawberries 18 Cal
TOTAL: 1,368
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